


here's a funny story...

by tydaze



Category: The Breakfast Club (1985)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tydaze/pseuds/tydaze
Summary: The last time Bender tells his guitar story is one Saturday evening when Brian's over and doing the thing, the thing where he just sits there and contemplates shit in a way that drives Bender a little crazy. Not that he doesn't have a good read on the kid - Brian's an open book, and he's not exactly good at hiding his emotions - but sometimes Bender just wants to know what goes on in Brian's brain.On funny stories Bender tells his friends, and red guitars.
Relationships: John Bender/Brian Johnson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 121





	here's a funny story...

Here's a funny story Bender tells girls in high school when he's looking for a cheap laugh:

When he was 13, he saved up for the entire summer until he could finally buy his first guitar. He loved that thing to death, would play it constantly,

(so whenever his dad wasn't home)

and pretend he was Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix or whatever rock legend he was listening to that week. It was shitty as anything, but he was seriously attached to that thing.

( _almost too much_ , he jokes)

Anywway, so one day his dad comes home and hears him playing some song

(he changes what song it is depending on who he's talking to, because he can't for the life of him remember what it actually was. sometimes he wonders if he was even playing his guitar at all. it doesn't seem too far fetched, that his old man would start yelling at him for no reason)

and comes in screaming, telling him to _turn the fuckin' music down!_ So of course, being a snot-nosed 13-year-old, he pretended he couldn't hear and kept playing. His dad is screaming and yelling, making a big fuss, and he's just playing away like he can't hear a damn thing. Finally, his dad gets so mad he grabs the guitar out of Bender's hands and tosses it through the window into their front yard. Can you imagine the look on the neighbour's faces when they saw a guitar go crashing into the street?

(that's leaving out the part where his dad hit him with the guitar before he sent it flying out the front window)

It always gets a good reaction, so he keeps telling it. Even though he's starting to realise maybe it's not that much of a funny story at all. Good thing he usually tells it to impress girls who prefer to use their mouths over their brains and will laugh like hyenas at just about anything. 

He really misses that guitar. Nevermind that it was a piece of shit.

Out of anyone, Bender finds himself inviting Brian over the most when he feels like having a smoke and shutting his brain off for a while. Brian's not always great company - the kid's a real motormouth who babbles on about science stuff that Bender doesn't even pretend to understand, or is completely silent and Bender has to tell about a million 'funny stories' to get a reaction out of him - but if you give him a joint he's suddenly ten times more entertaining. Seriously, he has Bender in hysterics. Maybe it's the weed talking.

The last time Bender tells his guitar story is one Saturday evening when Brian's over and doing the thing, the thing where he just sits there and contemplates shit in a way that drives Bender a little crazy. Not that he doesn't have a good read on the kid - Brian's an open book, and he's not exactly good at hiding his emotions - but sometimes Bender just wants to know what goes on in Brian's brain. Besides all the science crap. So, he recounts the guitar story, embellishing or forfeiting details where he sees fit. It's less of a recount and more of a made-up story these days, what with all the random shit Bender adds in to make it seem cooler. Sometimes he's not sure if it even really happened at all, or if he just pulled the whole story out of thin air.

Brian laughs for a solid three seconds before he cuts himself off, leaving a jarringly empty silence that's too loud in Bender's ears. He bites his lip and whispers "That's not very funny." before clamping a hand over his mouth. Clearly that was a thought that he meant to keep quiet.

"What'dya mean 'that's not funny'? He threw the guitar out the window!" Bender says. There's a smile tugging at Brian's lips, but he looks conflicted, like he doesn't want to laugh. "That was kind of mean," Brian says, even quieter than before, "of your dad to do that."

Bender shouldn't have told him the story. Of course Brian, who worries about everything and can't just sit back and laugh, would react that way. He's screwed so tightly you have to let the weed set in before you start telling him anything funny.

Bender rolls his eyes. "Do you really think my father gives a shit about being mean? Don't answer that." He rubs his palms together and starts telling another story, one that's actually funny so they can move on and he can get Brian to stop being so wound up. And at some point, he makes a mental note never to tell the story again.

The next Saturday Brian comes in uninvited, not that Bender minds anymore (although he makes a quick crack at Brian, just to show he's not getting soft). Brian looks somewhere between very excited and extremely nervous, which Bender supposes is just his natural state most of the time.

Bender rubs his eyes. "What?" Brian just starts mumbling something about Bender having to come outside to his car, so Bender trudges along behind him and tunes his chatter out like white noise. 

"I didn't know you had a car," Bender says. It's not Brian's, it's his parents, he's just borrowing it. Because of course Brian doesn't have the sense to just lie and say it's his.

Brian turns to him. "Close your eyes." 

"This is fucking stupid," Bender mutters, but he does it anyway. He waits for a moment as Bender pulls open the trunk. "Okay, you can open them now."

So he does, and he almost lets out a yelp when he sees what's inside. It's a bright red guitar, just like the one he had when he was 13. Looking pretty brand new. Bender stares down at it like Brian's bought him a stash of gold bars. Like it's not quite real.

Brian's mumbling again, something about returning it if Bender doesn't like it and how he thought Bender should have a new guitar to play. Bender presses his hand over Brian's mouth, just to shut him up for a second. "You seriously bought this for me?"

Brian nods hesitantly. 

"Holy shit! This is... _christ_." Bender picks it up like he's afraid to even hold it. "Should I pay you back, or..." (Even though he knows he'd probably never be able to afford it).

"No, it's, uh... it's a gift." Bender laughs. "I gotta do something, man. Need me to suck your dick?" He jokes, even though it's one of those jokes where it's not really a joke at all. Brian just laughs nervously, because he's used to Bender doing things for shock value.

Nevermind that Bender's thinking that if Brian asked, he really would suck his dick right then and there. He's on cloud fucking nine.

They're both grinning like idiots. They catch each other's eyes for a moment that's almost too long. Yeah, cloud fucking nine.

Here's a funny story Bender tells his roommates in college who know how to appreciate a real joke:

When he was 13, he saved up for the entire summer until he could finally buy his first guitar. He loved that thing to death, would play it constantly, until his dad

( _that asshole,_ he always adds for good measure)

threw it out the window. And that's not even the good bit. So one day he told this guy he used to hang around with, this scrawny, nerdy kid 

(who wasn't so scrawny or nerdy after all)

about the guitar he used to love that his dad trashed. This guy was so nice that the next week he went out and bought Bender a new guitar. Red and everything, just like the original. And Bender was so happy about it he offered to give the guy a blowjob in return.

( _well did you?_ people always joke, to which Bender replies _I think it was worth more than one blowjob_ ) 

Of course, he didn't. But rest assured that he was giving the guy free weed for the rest of the year.

(leaving out the fact that Bender was already doing that anyway. leaving out the part where Bender was so fucking ecstatic he leaned over and kissed the guy, and the guy kissed back)

He still has the guitar in his dorm room, although he's playing it less these days. And he still has Brian's number stashed somewhere. Maybe he should give him a call.


End file.
